Keeping up with the "Nancy's"

As I venture through this pregnancy I often find myself wondering if I want to continue my job, or if I want to stay at home with this next child (the last of the brood).

I find this thought a little ridiculous because I have a degree in Early Childhood Education and I always saw myself as a "stay at home" mom who would watch other children while raising my own. Yet I don't do that. In fact, when I had Bean it was easier and more enjoyable, for me, to stop engaging in child care and work somewhere w/ more adult interaction.

I LOVE children. Educating them, seeing them learn and grow, it is a fascinating adventure. I have always wanted to help, make a change, be something positive in the world. I feel like I may have gotten a little side track along the way. Why else would I be doing word processing and stuffing envelopes? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job and the company is great. I just think... "Is this my calling? This is what I'm going to do with my life?"

As I continue to ponder this I also have to take into consideration that most young couples, such as the case with B and I, need 2 incomes to make ends meet. We haven't had time to stabilize a savings. Shoot we've only been at our jobs a few years. And as long as I can pay child care for 2 children and still contribute to the living expenses, I think this job is going to stick.

Not to sound "like everyone else" who is worried about the economy, but I must also take that into consideration. Do I want to stay home with my children and give up a decent paying job when they are so few and are between?

What makes this thought process even more clouded, is the fact that we have an awesome lady who watches Bean. I have wanted to get him in with her for a while now. It is almost like God answered my prayers when 3 weeks ago our sitter said she was moving. 3 weeks notice!!! Do you know what that can do to an over-stressed mother?!?!? I got the lady's number from our friends, and THANK GOD she had openings!!

So the big question is... do I keep on with the job and the awesome child care? Or do I plan for the big career move....staying at home? Such a decision takes a LOT of time, thought, and consideration. Wish me luck!!!