This is one of the more "adult" natured blogs I've ever posted, so if when you start to read, you don't like the content... stop reading it! I have decided that this has weighed on my mind long enough. It is nothing personal, just something I need to blog and move forward with.
Why is it that people in our lives are getting divorced/seperated at a mind boggling rate? It can't just be the ppl we hang out with. B and I are surrounded by a eclectic group of friends.
It seems to me that more and more people are giving up on their marriage, their vows, their promises they've made to one another. When you get married, did you not think there would be change and growth and even personal problems!? When you marry someone you have to know that they will, inevitably, rip your heart out and that you will do the same to them. That is part of love. The other part is forgiveness. Love is suppose to be the strongest feeling in the world, the most "all consuming". It is tricky, scary, and fascinating all at the same time.
I am sorry for anyone who is going through a divorce right now. I am not putting this out there as a personal attack against you. Everyone's relationships are different, as are the circumstances. Seriously, though!? What about counseling? What about working things out?! If people worked 1/2 as hard at staying in love and putting their partner first, as they did at working at their jobs, would this still be such an issue? When did the times change that we took the one thing that mattered most, a relationship and promise, and put it last? What does that say about us, about our morals, our commiment and dedication?
I am so tried of being sad. I'm sad that people don't care enough about one another to try harder. I'm sad that society makes this issue so "normal" and "ok". I'm sorry that people I love and care about have to go through it. I'm sorry for the children who have to go through it too. It just makes me sick. How are all the rest of us suppose to keep believing? Is our "faith" in marriage just a lie? Are we the ones who just haven't "gotten the message"? I don't think that is it. It can't be. People have been engaging in marriage for YEARS. Suddenly now it is something so meaningless? Not for me .... Not for me.
If I look back in years ahead and am divorced, then shame on me for not listening to myself. But honestly, I don't see that as a problem. I know that B stands on the same ground I do. I know that come hell or high water we will try EVERYTHING to make it work. We know that things aren't easy. We've already had numerous trying times, but we're still together. We're still trying. I hope that for those of you that are married, or will get married, or that will even marry again... you make sure you talk options. That you both understand it is a PARTNERSHIP! Hash it all out upfront. If you can't do that, then why would you even want to get married to that person anyways?
Now that I've blogged and reread this some things seem a little harsh. I can't help it. I've always been opioniated, and that isn't going to change. I feel a million different things right now. The most promising is hope. I hope that when someone, anyone, reads this it makes a difference to them. A positive difference. I'm an optimist, and I will keep being that way. I will not give up on the idea of what I believe marriage is. I hold those vows in my head, vows I took almost 4 years ago. They will guide me and remind me when I lose my temper, when I'm being selfish, when I look at B sleeping and am filled with such happiness that he's mine. I'm going to remember this day, how I felt to hear another one of our friend's marriage just isn't going to make the cut, and I'm going to strive to not let it happen to me.
Life is unpredictable, and that is part of the battle. I'm, at least, choosing to go into battle aware and ready to put up a fight.
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